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Health Means

Health Means Being Together So Why Do I Feel So Alone?

Other than the word unprecedented, the word that has stuck out to me this past year is the word isolation.  What an incredible paradox that we can live in a family, a community, and a country with large numbers of people surrounding us yet feel so alone!  In a time of increased connectivity with our exploding technology, we still experience isolation and loneliness.

The word isolation has a different meaning to each of us.  Some of us choose to live (and feel more comfortable) alone yet for most humanoids, isolation is often equivalent to loneliness – the experience of which can be painful.  Isolation comes in various forms, but it helps me to think of it in two general categories.  We can be socially (physical/geographical) or emotionally (feelings) isolated, or both.

Occupations such as farming, driving truck, or working from home (and a myriad of others) all have varying degrees of physical isolation built into a daily routine.  Many other factors including long-term disability, loss of hearing, lack of transportation, and financial struggles contribute to minimizing physical contact with others.

Emotional isolation is a subjective feeling and may not be dependent on physical proximity to others.  We can feel isolated in a large crowd or lonely in a small intimate family gathering. That experience of isolation is unique to each of us.  We have different needs, expectations and understandings of the world around us, so my experience and understanding of loneliness will be different from yours.  This feeling can be experienced as sadness, hopelessness, emptiness, and feelings of loss or just “feeling alone.” There is a real sense that “no one understands what I am going through” or “they really don’t care.”   These feelings certainly can be overwhelming and paradoxically, when we see others socially connected and enjoying human interaction, it may further heighten the feelings of isolation. There have been multiple studies that identify the connection between isolation and loneliness with a negative impact on physical health.  This includes (but is not limited to) being at higher risk for coronary disease and stroke and is associated with a significant increase in the risk for dementia.

We know that the stress and isolation associated with COVID-19 has taken a toll on the emotional health of every culture and people group and even more so with individuals who are in high-risk groups as previously described. I would like to further identify two specific groups of at-risk individuals.  Adolescents and the elderly have particularly experienced worsening isolation and loneliness in this time of COVID-19.  Teens who normally have an active social life have been limited in their social contact and older folks who are inherently limited in their ability to be physically active have experienced even worsening isolation. Hopefully with some loosening of the current restrictions these two segments of the population will experience improved social contact.  Until then, we can continue to encourage them to participate in relaxing activities, eat healthy foods, practice good sleep hygiene, and spend time with positive like-minded individuals.

Identify signs and symptoms in individuals who may be experiencing significant isolation:

  • Social withdrawal
  • Changes in sleep and eating habits
  • Increased substance use
  • Increased physical ailments/complaints
  • Swings of emotion (anger, anxiety, fear)
  • Diminished ability to make decisions
  • Pervasive (lasting) mood changes (sadness, anxiety)

Ways to manage your feelings of isolation:

  • Control or minimize exposure to social media (reduce negative input)
  • Seek out meaningful human contact with caring individuals (spend quality time – eating together, playing games, talking a walk)
  • Share your feeling with someone you trust (be vulnerable)
  • Work to make eye contact with others (leave your comfort zone)
  • Seek professional help (find a therapist you enjoy talking with)

In this unique time in human history, it is more important than ever that in a world focused on things, viruses, and politics, we focus on each other! Health means…increasing the proportion of primary care visits where adolescents and adults are screened for depression.

Contributor: Brad Dirks

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