Do you enjoy talking about money with your significant other or is it a topic you strive to avoid at all costs? A study from Northwestern Mutual found that money was the leading cause of stress among Americans. When you add in a second party who might have different ideas about how to handle money, that stress often escalates. This is particularly an issue for college students whose finances and relationships are muddled by the complications of college life: student loans, work-school balance, and, of course, the complex navigation of dating apps. But regardless of what studies tell us, finances do not have to be a stressful point in a relationship. Here are a few simple strategies that can help new or experienced couples avoid financial friction.
Understand Each Other’s Money Personality
The key to good financial well-being and relationship health is knowing and understanding each other’s views and behavior towards money. If you know what to expect, you can make compromises, and there won’t be as many misunderstandings along the way. Each party should talk about their financial background. This includes anything from their parent’s financial beliefs and habits to their own formal and informal financial education. These conversations are obviously not easy to have, but they create a platform whereby couples can have healthy conversations about money with a partner in the future.
The Klontz Money Script Inventory (KMSI) is another way couples can understand their partners’ money beliefs. Money scripts are the unconscious beliefs about money – rooted in our childhood – that ultimately shape our financial health. The short assessment, which you can find at https://www.yourmentalwealthadvisors.com/our-process/your-money-script/ is designed to help you learn about your own money belief system to improve your financial understanding and decision-making. Couples should share this information to gain insight into the other’s approach to money and, more importantly, how they can work together to live healthy financial lives.
Time It Right
Since conversations about money are often emotionally charged, choose a time to talk about your financial situation or make decisions when both of you are at your best. Both of you should establish boundaries and expectations for what financial conversations will look like and when you will plan to have them. Choose a specific time to meet and topic(s) to discuss and stick to it. This will increase healthy communication habits and deter tension when having money conversations.
Collaborate
Often, one partner deals with most of the finances: managing all bills, budgets, savings, investments, and insurance policies. However, it can be beneficial for both partners to understand and be involved with their finances. Collaboration can help couples establish both individual and combined responsibilities over finances based on their comfort level and skills. Ultimately, ongoing input from both partners will strengthen your relationship and create a true partnership.
Find an Unbiased Financial Counselor
Sometimes the best way to avoid financial tensions, regardless of a couple’s current status, is to work with an objective third party, whether that’s a financial professional, a marriage counselor, or both. A financial professional can work with you and your partner to review your financial situation, identify gaps in their communication, assist in establishing goals, and provide professional and knowledgeable advice. Powercat Financial at Kansas State University is that resource for students. We are a free and confidential service that provides financial information and helps students prepare for the future. Couples are encouraged to come in – together or separate – to discuss their financial circumstances and learn more about how to balance financial responsibilities and their relationship. You can schedule a free appointment at https://www.k-state.edu/powercatfinancial/.
Celebrate Success!
Discussing financial matters can be exhausting. You should celebrate success every once in awhile when you and your partner achieve your goals. Set aside a portion of pocket money that you and your partner can each spend every month on something you love, whether it’s a massage, a picnic, or a night on the town. For K-State students, this could include sweet trips to the Varsity Truck or a day trip to another city. These activities can reinforce financial habits and improve you and your partner’s relationship.
These steps are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to love and money, but they can go far to improve financial teamwork with your partner. Repetition and reinforcement are key to implementing these habits and achieving your financial and relationship goals.
If you and/or your partner need help creating a budget, managing student loans, or learning more about healthy financial habits, Powercat Financial is here to help. As mentioned earlier, we offer free and confidential appointments in-person as well as on zoom. Appointment requests can be made online at www.ksu.edu/powercatfinancial. If you are unable to make time for a full appointment you can always come to our walk-in days on the first Friday each month. The next walk-in day is Friday, February 4th.
Also, make sure not to miss our upcoming event Love & Money! Attendees will be provided helpful resources and tools to manage finances with your partner by K-State Professor of Practice, Dr. Megan McCoy, Ph.D, LMFT, AFC(R), CFT-ITM, and Powercat Financial peer financial counselors. The workshop will be held Thursday February 10th from 4:30 to 5:30 pm in Union 227. Attendees must RSVP by February 3rd through WuFoo at http://bit.ly/PFloveandmoney. Couples are welcome as long as one attendee is a K-State student.
RJ Salmen
Peer Counselor II
Powercat Financial
302 K-State Student Union, Third Floor
918 N. 17th Street
Manhattan, KS 66506-2800
785.532.2889
www.k-state.edu/powercatfinancial
PowercatFinancial@k-state.edu
https://news.northwesternmutual.com/planning-and-progress-2018
https://www.yourmentalwealthadvisors.com/our-process/your-money-script/
https://www.comprehensiveadvisor.com/love-and-money-financial-planning-considerations-for-couples/
https://www.moneymax.ph/personal-finance/articles/financial-tips-couples
